When you feel a tug to take a course of action that seems impossible to you, my advice is to just stop resisting and go. God will get you where He wants you, one way or another. You may as well make it easy on yourself.

Exodus 23:20-21
“Behold, I send an angel before you to guard you on the way and to bring you to the place that I have prepared.
Pay careful attention to him and obey his voice; do not rebel against him, for he will not pardon your transgression, for my name is in him.
Bible Gateway link: Exodus 23:20-21 (ESV)